It is a thing that can happen. It’s no big deal really for most, but can be kind of a bummer for someone in my shoes (married with 2 kids). I think that I may be coming around a little more now, but for a little while there it was kind of bad. I didn’t really have much interest in making a big deal out of any big holidays or even much on family gatherings in general.

There can be several factors that take place in this, at least for me anyway. For starters a lack of a relationship for an extended period of time. Now, this has been years ago now for me, but I can see how this could potentially be a reason for why I would be less inclined to want to participate in these events. The biggest reason that I would was because a lot of times alcohol was involved.
I was a pretty big party person back in the day. However this didn’t always mean that I was a happy party person, I just hid it well. But amounts of time when I’m not really sharing these experiences intimately with someone just make them seem less important. Over time they just become another reason to party.

Another factor could be low income. For a long time I was working minimum wage jobs and couldn’t afford to buy something for everyone. Hell I barely had enough money to live off of. I know materials are just that, and probably the least important part of the whole thing. It just seems like when you see other people at Christmas passing around gifts to everyone, even you, and you don’t have anything to offer anyone it makes you feel small. I get that. I’ve been there and while you know that nobody else cares that you didn’t have anything to bring they just enjoy your company, you still feel insignificant at times.

I can’t sit here and tell you how you should feel or put any kind of pressure on anyone to “have a good holiday”. I can tell you though that it doesn’t have to feel that way, and even if it does now it doesn’t always have to.
We all have our ups and downs, highs and lows. Originally my thought was to quote a Chumbawumba song right there, but I decided to spare you of that. I want to end here on this note. I personally have started coming back around with the “holiday spirit”. Not just for holidays like Christmas or Thanksgiving, but even those like Independence Day. And that is why this blog is a week late, because last week we celebrated Independence Day, and I chose to do stuff and have fun with the family. Aside from that one day the rest of my week was somewhat eventful (mostly with work) and I was just overall distracted. So my apologies on a delay of content and I’ll try to do better in the future.

You can find me on Sunday nights (usually starting between 8 and 9 PM EST) on Twitch .
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